I love to delve into the many themes that arise from a complex mother/daughter relationship. In An Amish Family Reunion I deal with the evolving power struggle beteen Julia (the mom) and her adult daughter, Emma. We met Emma in Never Far from Home as a rebellious teenager. Now she’s grown up with a happy marriage and two sons. But both her mother and her mother-in-law insist on making choices for her, much to her dismay. I think back to the relationship I had with my own mom. Here I was…married, teaching school, and handling the resposbilities of my first home, yet my mom would still call to ask: did you lock your doors, remember to take your vitamins, set the alarm clock for work?? Much of that is simple protective love, but she also tried hard to talk us out of vacationing abroad (could catch a dreaded disease) buying a house in the country (too far from the nearest hospital) and adopting a dog from the pound (could have fleas). I never became an adult in my mom’s eyes. Readers–drop me a line! Have any of you reached “adult status” with your mothers?
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One of the themes I enjoyed delving into was the mother/daughter relationship. What constitutes a mother? In this day and age, we have stretched the definition to include step-mothers, grandmothers serving as parents, foster-moms, adoptive mothers, and any other woman who places her child’s needs above her own. In An Amish Family Reunion we meet Phoebe Miller who has grown to love Hannah after suffering a tragic loss of her birth mother as a young child. Hannah’s love for Phoebe is unconditional, equal in every way to what she feels for her natural-born son. As an adopted daughter, I speak from experience. I couldn’t imagine loving my mother any more than I had. The extent of a mother’s love defies conventional rules, defining who we are and the women we will become.
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This must be the week for good reviews for Harvest House authors at RT. Here’s what they said about An Amish Family Reunion: “A sweet contemporary romance with amazing characters who are beginning to figure out who they are and what they want out of life. The Amish are interesting to read about, as they live their lives according to the Bible, simpler and free of distractions. The details of Amish living reflect Ellis’ meticulous research.”
4-stars-RT BookReviews. Thanks, Rt, and congratulations, Murray, on the February top pick for The Wings of Morning! Also, fans of Amish fiction, please check out my new website www.maryellis.net It was a labor of love!
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When I think back to the Christmases of my childhood, I always smile at one particular memory. Our family would gather at one of my aunt’s homes on Christmas Eve. We would enjoy a lavish potluck dinner with the host providing the main course while everyone else brought side dishes and desserts. Afterward, we would mingle to catch up on family news—coming babies, recent graduations or promotions and other milestones, small or grand. At some point during the evening, the families would separate to attend church services at their own particular denomination. But beforehand, the children would anxiously await the arrival of one special secular guest—Santa Claus. My uncle would dress up in full costume and arrive with great fanfare down the staircase. (His sleigh and reindeer stayed on the roof.) Over his shoulder he carried a velvet sack filled with wrapped gifts for all the good girls and boys from infants through college-aged. Surprisingly, the sack contained even a present for me.
Apparently, I was the last child to still believe in Santa Claus after my cousins had abandoned the notion and discovered the truth about the man-in-red.
But my mother and aunts didn’t want anyone to spoil my fun, so they instructed everyone to keep quiet about who really wore that silken beard of white. Since I was the youngest of my generation my cousins played along, and yours-truly continued to believe the myth longer than average. However, someone at school or perhaps a neighborhood kid finally burst my bubble. Once I overcame my initial shock I thought about how happy people were that I still believed. And so I played along, becoming wide-eyed and anticipatory when that jolly man arrived every Christmas Eve. People watched my reaction from the corner of their eyes, pleased that the deception continued for another year. Finally (perhaps the year before I started college…) when Santa arrived and presented this little girl with her treasure, I had so say “Hi, Uncle Louie. Thanks for the gift.”
Everyone moaned, and my mother looked broken-hearted, but all good things must come to an end. Now that my mom and uncle are gone, I will remember the joy they preserved for me because of their love. And because of the unending love of the Father and the gift of His son…once again I have something to believe in. Merry Christmas. May God’s blessings rain down on you and your families.
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Another title for this posting could be “What I learned during my summer vacation.” Remember when we returned to school in September and had to explain what we learned during our vacation? While researching the Amish of Maine, preparing to write Living in Harmony, I found out generalties about members of Old Order Amish are difficult, if not impossible, to make. Although their “classification” is the same as those I’ve research here in Ohio, their habits, customs and the rules governing their lives couldn’t be more different. Last week I touched on the “no celebration of Thanksgiving in Maine.” Today, I’ll break another “maxim” regarding the Amish. We’ve all learned they don’t build churches or meeting houses like Menonnites or other Christian sects, right? They choose to meet and worship in each other’s homes, taking turns. However, the industrious Maine Amish have built a meeting house in their community and use it weekly for services and Sunday school classes. See what I mean about blanket generalities? Blessings on your Advent season.
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As a writer of Amish novels, and therefore a researcher of their culture and heritage, I’m often asked how the Amish celebrate a specific holiday. The answer to that question, as with most regarding these fascinating people, lies within the particular sect they belong to, such as Old Order, New Order, Beachy Amish, Swartzentruber, Mennonite, etc. And within the general divisions lie additional disparity due to decisions made by particular bishops. I will only speak on two sects I have interviewed most, namely the Old Order of Ohio and more recently, the Old Order of central Maine. Here in Ohio’s Amish Country, they will do fairly much what we Englischers will do: congregrate at the home of a family member, eat turkey with all the trimming, enjoy the antics of children and grandchildren, and savor apple and pumpkin pies with a good cup of coffee! Ahh, I’m getting hungry already. However, this past summer I traveled to research the Amish of Maine in preparation for my summer release, Living in Harmony. Although they are also technically Old Order, I was told they don’t celebrate any holiday. When I asked: not even Thanksgiving? I was told: Christians don’t need a excuse to overeat like glutons, since glutony is a sin. I shrank back a step since I’m guilty of overeating on most, if not all, Thanksgivings. So I will try to remember my new friends in Maine and push myself away from the table a bit sooner this Thursday. Blessings on you all!
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As a writer of Amish books, I’m often asked where I go to create my fictional tales. My answer? Just about anywhere. I’ve been known to take either my yellow legal tablet with a couple pens or my laptop to the local park, to the nearest coffee shop, to the local Subway restaurant (I’m hooked on Meatball Marinaras!), down to Amish country to write in parking lots of auctions or flea markets, or to my favorite B&B. But my favorite place is home-sweet-home. I often sit by my barn completely removed from human contact and write while bees, hummingbirds and pesky mosquitos buzz my head. In summer, when the bugs grow annoying, I write on my deck in this screenhouse my husband puts up for me every year. It’s perfect. I’m outside but semi-protected. Where is my least favorite place to write? That would be my office! Because then it only feels like work, and I like to trick myself into thinking that writing stories about these lovely people is always easy!
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While researching my current book, A Marriage for Meghan, God placed the perfect person to help me in my path. Although my main plot focuses on a struggling teacher, I developed a concurrent sub-plot which involves escalating criminal acts against the Amish. I met Lieutenant Matthew Linnscott of the sheriff’s department where I live in a Subway Restaurant. He gave me firsthand information about crimes against the Amish in Wayne and Holmes Counties, Ohio. Thugs had been robbing them on deserted country roads as they returned from auction sales or the grain elevator. They would block the buggy’s path with their cars and then rob these pacifistic people of their cash. How does one catch criminals in sparsely populated rural areas? I’ll tell you how the sheriff’s department handled it. In a joint effort of several agencies, including the FBI, teams of detectives borrowed buggies, dressed in Plain garb, and meandered down country roads during the time period the thieves favored. What a surprise for those thugs when their “helpless victims” turned out to be well-armed, highly-trained officers of the law. Now there are a few less criminals on the streets. And I was able to “pump the brain” of one of my local department’s finest for accounts of other hate crimes aimed at the gentle-hearted Plain folk. Nothing like being in the right place at the right time!
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One of the subplots of my latest release, A Marriage for Meghan, deals with an Old Order bishop who fears he might have made a bad decision. Amish clergymen will consult their two ministers and one deacon regarding the enforcement of district rules, while any major change to the Ordnung would be brought before the entire district for discussion and subsequent vote. However, everyday matters are usually left up to them. Do they ever question their judgments? I don’t know for certain, but I would imagine so. Although well-read in Scripture, they are human. They must send up their concerns in prayer and then listen for God’s guidance through intuition. In my story, Gideon Yost doubts his ability to lead when he places his desire to help his daughter ahead of the district’s best interests. Each week in church, I sit in awe of my own pastor’s wisdom and humble grace. I hope that should he ever stumble, our congregation will respond in the same fashion as my fictional district—with loving compassion and forgiveness.
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I often get asked where my story ideas come from and how I research my fictional novels. Considering I live a little over an hour from Ohio’s Amish Country, I relish a day or weekend trip down to attend livestock auctions, sample authentic cooking, tour farms and homes, and interview Old Amish friends and acquaintances. But the research for my latest release, A Marriage for Meghan, was the easiest…and most enjoyable yet. Small one and two-room schoolhouses dot the beautiful countryside in Holmes and Wayne Counties. But I didn’t have to ask anyone what it was like to face a roomful of students as a first-year teacher, feeling wholly unprepared, since I had first-hand knowledge. An Amish teacher might have a gift for communication and patience with children, but her education stopped after the eighth grade. Opening day would be intimidating, considering she’s only a few years older than her students. Although I was twenty-two and had four years of college, I looked out over a sea of faces on my first day and went weak in the knees. Some pupils were sixteen and taller than me, and I’m not a small woman. But I survived my first day and persevered. I eventually became a very good teacher and mentor to beginning teachers throughout my ten-year career. The lesson I hope readers will take away from A Marriage for Meghan is that you must have faith in yourself, besides faith in God, in order to succeed. Set your sights on your dream, work hard, and never give up on yourself. Like my fictional Meghan Yost, you will be surprised by what you can accomplish.
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