Amish Girl’s Question

The following question comes from the August/September issue of the Amish publication, Family Life.

It seems most girls and women have a love for babies and children. Is there any other person who finds herself terrified by a helpless little bundle that is likely to wail if you touch it? Do you find yourself holding someone’s baby to be polite and can harldy wait to hand it back? Have you wanted to leave a group of girls who were passing a baby around so you wouldn’t have to jiggle it for a few minutes to keep it from wanting its mother? Do you babysit or care for children only out of duty and your nerves are snapping and tense the whole time?

If you have been there, what happened to you? Did you marry and have children of your own? Does “mother-love” take away the terror?

Is there anyone else like me in this world?


Editors note…

Is there anyone who can identify with this person? I am convinced most of us cannot. Feeling alone, with unusual emotions such as this, must be hard in itself. Finding others with similar struggles might be a great help. If you understand this girl or woman, please give her your advice. Thank you.

Last 5 posts by Jerry

8 Responses to “Amish Girl’s Question”

  1. Yes, I used to feel that way many, many years ago. I did not like to babysit and felt like everytime I picked up a baby it would immediately start crying. It wasn’t until my sister had her first child that I felt comfortable with babies. I fell head over heals in love with my nephew. And of course my sister encouraged me to hold him. Four years later when I had my first child, I was a pro with babies. Three kids later, I think I have it down pat. Now that my kids are older and in their twenties, I get asked this question: if I can’t wait to be a Grandmother. Guess what, I am in no rush. It just doesn’t get me all excited. But, now that I am older and I hope a little wiser, I know that when the time comes I will be the best Grandmother ever. All in good time, my dear!


  2. As a student nurse, I really didn’t care for the babies and children, while all my classmates were quite enthralled. After I married, I had 7 children of my own; and now have 18 grandkids and 2 great-grandkids. It is entirely a different feeling of love and close ness when they are your own! So, don’t worry–you are okay!!


  3. Babies didn’t bother me when I was young, but as I got older and had three of my own and grandchildren I began to not want to hold any body else’s baby. If there was a baby around I would just not even want to be around when they passed the baby to others. I do not ever want to work in the nursery at church. Once they get around 6 years old I like them, but I don’t want much to do with them when they are younger than that.
    After 3 children and 6 grandchildren I am not anxious at all to be around any more babies. I do believe that
    you will become more comfortable when they are your own, and you will have a love for them so great it will be so very awesome for you. But if you don’t care for babies, just don’t have any. There are many people who feel the way you do. God Bless you.


  4. I was thrilled to read your question, because I felt exactly the same way! I love children, starting around age five or so, but was terrified of, and very uncomfortable with, babies and toddlers. In fact, when I got pregnant with my first child, my mother was alarmed and said “If you don’t like babies, why do you want to have any??” I answered that I loved and wanted children, so I was willing to learn about babies and “put up with” them until they were old enough for me to relate to! Well, I had two, and yes, I was ALWAYS pretty uncomfortable with them as babies, although it definitely got easier with time and experience. Then, as they got older, I had the time of my life with them. I never feel like I was a “bad” mother, just inexperienced like many, many new mothers are. The same may happen to you, and it is JUST FINE to not enjoy babies, and still want to be a mother (of course, if you don’t want to be a mother at all, that is JUST FINE too — not everyone is created the same, after all!). And you can still be a wonderful mother despite not enjoying them when they are babies, like I was! So best of luck with your future, and remember to always embrace your individuality — there is only one you, and you just aren’t required to be like everyone else!


  5. Good afternoon, sorry this is not a comment but a question. I am inquiring if there are any daily newspapers on the Amish country that we can subscribe to up here in Canada. thanks


  6. The Budget, out of Sugarcreek, OH is a weekly newspaper (not daily) that has been in existence for more than 100 years. Used by Amish and some Mennonites as a way of keeping abreast of the goings-on in far-flung communities in the United States and some Canadian provinces, it is enjoyable and informative reading. Scribes from all over send in the news from their communities, and it helps people stay in touch. I subscribed to it for several years when I attended a Plain church. I especially enjoyed reading about the planting and harvesting activities in the different areas.
    You do not need to be Amish or Mennonite to subscribe.
    You can find out more about The Budget by going to
    Hope this helps in your search!


  7. I am 50 years old and even though I have raised 4 children of my own, I do not care to hold or take care of other people’s babies. I have always gotten out of keeping the church nursery because I was the piano player. I loved my granchildren as babies and kept them often, but just do not care to hold other babies. You are perfectly normal and should not worry, you will love your own babies and be a fine mother!!


  8. Hi there.
    I’m a grown man with 6 younger brothers. While I’m growing up I really hate the notion to babysit my brothers/other people’s babies, and this continues until I was married I still had an aversion to hold someone else’s babies/children.

    But after my wife and I had had our own childrens it came naturally.

    I guess it’s just not the time yet for you..


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